Making bones

Last night feeding the kid. Two bowels of mac and cheese. Of course she had to have it poured into a super large bowl and then back into a super small bowl. Mini carrots: Emily stared gnawing the center of he carrot with great precision and after a moment or two she showed the carrot to me. "Look, dad, bones. She had fashioned the mini carrot into what looked like a tiny bone. She is brilliant.

Neanderthal baby

Almost like the modern human baby. The Neanderthal baby matures
much faster. Here is a 5 year old ready to join the hunt for wild game.

Emily saves the day

Today daddy took Emily to preschool, well after mommy had left, and only fifteen minutes late. We were doing so good right up until we got to the car. NO KEYS. Okay, sort of, don't panic. Hide a key gets me through the gate, but than, did I lock all the back doors today? We just repalaced the french doors that were hanging by a thread and never locked, with new doors that locked. Okay get Emily out of the street and into the back yard. All doors locked. SHIT! Call Mommy. No answer. Okay doggie door? Nope also locked, gardener day. Okay what next? I have no idea. Then I notice the window to the laundry just a little ajar. Okay pry the painted on screen off the window frame. As I try and open the window it sticks. We have yet to replace the old wood, never work right windows. Now it's open about a foot. What now.

A little voice from behind me says: " I can do it, daddy. I can get through there."

And she did. I picked her up popped her through the window and she ran to the back and opened the door.

Emily saved the day. At the very least she saved the morning.

Now we have to try this on the neighbors house.

Where's Emily?

Emily got lost at Pre-School. Not really lost she was hiding. Losing a kid is the scariest thing no question. But lucky enough Jen she was not working that day. Although Jen could have found her. Emily is a great hider and yesterday she decided to hide at school. The parents were freaking out for twenty minutes trying to find her. She said she just needed some alone time. When Jen got to school to pick her up the other moms where ashen faced. At home we have a rule that when we are looking for her she has to yell out where she is. Emily is a real good hider.

EMTV

I'm not proud, but this was my time the other night with the Em.

Well I've been on the set of Bridesmaids and I have not had a day with Emily in a week or so. She stuck her tongue out at me this morning and laughed really hard. I laughed to, I love her so and I can't wait for her to beat me up on Sunday.

I did not know that.

Breakfast served at St. Joes Hospital.
Not bad at all.






Well this post is scary it is a day or what turned out to be days, without Emily. I experienced what was later diagnosed as Transient Global Amnesia.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/transient-global-amnesia/DS01022

This web site says it all. I completely lost a day, except for lunch, I remember eating with my friend Josh. But I didn't know it was the lost day until I was reminded. Other events of the lost day I have no recollection of. The great news is that Emily was with her Mom and that I was fully functioning except short term memory was completely not happening. I was never in any danger and always in the moment. I just asked the same questions over and over and since I had no short term memory I had no real sense of what was happening. Except I did know something was wrong. More on this in another post.

That's a silly man

Bertolt Brecht

We were at a Theater today to see a, very true to Brothers Grimm, telling of Snow White. "Called Snow White and Rose Red." She sat amazingly well through the thirty minute performance It helped that there was a bear in it. Or at least a man in a bear outfit.







In the Lobby afterword Emily saw a cherectature of Ol Bertolt pictured above and said: "that's a silly man." You know, she's right.

It's all happening at the zoo

Rode the tram for the first time.

Had a monster lunch and ice cream cone.

Played in the caves for a half hour.

But the best part of the zoo was still the gift shop.

Park Options:

1. Spider web park.
A large confabulation of robes form a giant spider web to climb. 85% Hispanic, the Salvadorians hate the Nicaraguans. Not sure of the rest of the pecking order but there is one. Good place to learn Spanish. People are very nice.

2. Duck Park.
You guessed it, there are ducks and geese all around a man mad reservoir. Mostly Eastern European men, I think with kids. The Russians wear track suits. The Armenians wear very nice polyester shirts and slacks. Their cell phones are glued to their ears. Also a large group of Hasidics and Indians. No one is friendly.

3. Rock park.
Surrounded by rocks and I think there is some "rock" sales going on. Mostly gang looking young parents. Looks like things could POP OFF when ever two kids decide not to share something and the parents move in to help. We only went here once.

4. Zoo Park.
Inside the L.A. Zoo. Mostly Hispanic, lots of gang tats, but also lots of security. Also a big schlep and not much shade. Upside, we get to see gagged animals and buy really expensive food.

5. Woodbridge Park.
That's it's name. Close to home. Very strange mix of people. More on this in the next blog.

Emily is bleeding!!!

Okay, so the other day I'm at the park with Ems. Michael, another dad from pre-school, is there with his daughter, one of Emily's best friends. They are running around together having a great time and they end up gathering a group of five other girls to play with. Everything is copacetic, all the girls running around, which gives me five seconds to shoot the shit with Michael. All of a sudden the group of girls came running up to Michael and I and start screaming "Emily is bleeding." That's when I noticed Emily is not with the group. Michael and I looked at each other with a look of horror only a parent can feel. The unimaginable raced through my mind. Blood coming from everywhere, my poor little girl laying on the ground near death. Then, what the hell I'm I gonna tell my wife? How could this happen on my watch? "Where is she?" I shouted to the group of girls who started running toward the slide, still screaming, "Emily is bleeding, Emily is bleeding," over and over. As we approached the slide I was looking on the ground for a body, Emily's body. I don't see her. Where is she? I looked up and there she was near the top, sitting there, looking at her foot. Oh my god her foot has been severed. The whole group gathered in close to see what she was looking at. OMG there it was, the blood. The teeniest tiniest droplet of blood on the top of her middle toe. Emily looked up at me and just said, "look daddy, I'm bleeding. Yep indeed, Emily was bleeding. Big deed sigh of relief.

My First Blog

Hello computer. Last year I didn't even know what a Blog was, now I am one. Or something like that. This is my journal of the stuff that happens on my days with my 4 year-old daughter. Some stories will be very unique, but relatable, others will not be so unique and even more relatable. Anyone with kids will hopefully find something amusing in this. For those who are about to have kids let this be a harbinger of things that can come. Please enjoy the Blog.

Joel